GROWING

As professionals it is imperative to develop ourselves in terms of mind body and spirit. Integral health is vital to human flourishing. One cannot lead where one has not been. People will follow one who has already walked the path. It is impossible to give a gift that we do not possess. I like to think of it as “planting seeds” in another’s soul. The greatest teachers in my life planted seeds that I could clearly see had come to fruition in theirs.
Assessment of my integral health comes from a place of knowing where I am and imagining how I want to be. I feel great physically, but I want to feel extraordinary. Psychologically I still have “stuff” but I have come many miles from the “me” of yesterday. Spiritually, I’d love to be as evolved as Ram Dass or the woman who wrote “Eat, Pray, Love” but I understand it is about MY journey, MY enlightenment. Who knows? Maybe I will go further than either of them. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being best, I would say I am at a 9 in terms of physical health, an 8 psychologically and a 7 spiritually.
I have started making the changes I want to make physically just this weekend. I had been thinking: “I want to take my nutrition to the next level, an even cleaner, purer level. Then, I went to a seminar at our Natural Food Store this past Saturday. This was hosted by Jordan Rubin (whom I posted about) he wrote “Patient Heal Thyself” and “The Makers Diet” most recently and several others. Google him, his story is remarkable. Anyway, I started a cleanse, along with probiotics, digestive enzymes and a supplement for women. I eat very clean, almost always choosing healthy foods and never processed/fast foods but am now following his book exactly for the 40 days he suggests. This includes NO red wine. OMG!! Just the fact that that seems so over-the-top challenging indicates it is exactly what I need to do though. I have maintained my weight within 5 pounds of my ideal for over 20 years now, but, I am going for ideal, or a few under, rather than a few over.
I am also overtraining, I have always over trained and I hired a very knowledgeable personal trainer to design a program for me that includes being sensible with my time and energy. He and I have talked to great lengths and he understands my “neurosis” (some might call it insanity).
I want to experience a tangible “shift” in my mental need to train hours each day. Fitness is fun for me but, like a child, I pout (internally) when I can’t stay at the playground all day. I also think obsessive thoughts such as; “OK 60 minutes hard cycling is about 600 calories, 600 calories is 1/6 of a pound, etc” I am strong enough to stop that particular chatter left over from my days of anorexia. OK, that is embarrassing to admit but we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge right? I have had that same mindset for 20 plus years now, like a shadow one stops noticing until one is forced (by some class) ;) to think about what one is thinking about! I am also going to take 2 yoga classes a week, which will also replace 2 hours of intense training.

In terms of spirit I have started meditating for 30 minutes each day. I sometimes have to break these up into 2 or even 3 sessions at times but I allow that to be OK. I pray for help with this and one morning after praying I turned away from my big sunshine filled window to lay around another minute and I watched my prayer plant open its’ leaves. Prayer answered! I used that as my meditation. I let nothing else come into my mind, just the unfurling of the leaves. It’s fascinating and to think I have had that plant for 20 years and although I know it unfolds in the morning and folds at night, I have never taken the time to watch it. I love my plants and to be able to watch one do what it does in its daily rhythm is a wonder. I am also looking for a spiritual retreat to take this summer. This is a prayer I know God will answer. He always answers if we keep our eyes and ears open. I have started a journal so that I know how I feel about my mind; body, spirit today and I will revisit that (write) every few weeks. I am really excited to see how much I have grown in 6 months.
In summary I plan to make meditation an integral part of my day. I plan to go on a spiritual retreat this summer to help me with that. I plan to stop the obsessive/compulsive workout addiction and learn new modes of training effectively in shorter time periods. I am eating cleaner, precisely following the “Makers Diet” which is simply taking nourishments from the foods God intended. Mentally I also work on allowing myself at least as much grace as I allow others. I give others all the forgiveness, grace and love I can find and fall short in terms of myself. So when I screw up now I say; “it’s OK, you’ll do better next time.” That way I can keep floating along rather than bogging down.
In terms of commitment, I cannot see walking this path and jumping off of it. It becomes more essential with each passing day… it is exciting to see what tomorrow or next week will bring. For me to stop growing would be to die spiritually. It is fun to notice the people who “show up” who are like minded also. Laws of Attraction I suppose.